The Final Score.


Wind blew my hair, making a whooshing sound; playing a mysterious harp in my ears. A sound that sent waves of calm all through my body; coursing in my blood. The shore had always been my favourite place and the sand my favourite track, my red carpet. The grains tickled my feet as they waxed and waned, engulfing my feet one second and letting them go the other. Their warmth lingered; it always had.

I remember walking the same shore as a kid with Abba, hanging on to his hands, trusting him to carry my weight whenever the heat of my carpet became too unbearable. And then as a girl, when the waves and the shore ignited passions that I never knew existed. A desperate need arose in me; to have another pair of feet share my carpet. Hand in hand, ankles knocking…

Life goes on around in circles and so a time came when I walked the very shore with my daughter. But oh! How different she was from me. Like her father, she liked to keep her shoes on. I tried reasoning with her, telling her how good the sand felt; yet again like her father, reasons never worked with her.

During the past 60 years, these were the only people I tried sharing my carpet with. Although my husband and daughter stuck with me in nearly every chapter of my life’s story, Abba will always be my favourite companion.

Life had been fairly good for me. I had had a childhood extraordinaire, a contented married life and a lovely time playing a mother. Fate had scored me for trying to be good always, I guess.

A month back, I had a complete heart block. They installed a pacemaker. Was that the final score fate had engraved on my life’s canvas or a chance at a new life? I haven’t figured that out yet.

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©2012. Habiba Danyal

Word count: 317

This is a fictional piece in response to trifecta’s week 33 challenge, prompt two i.e.

score (noun)
1 a : twenty b : a group of 20 things

2 a : a line (as a scratch or incision) made with or as if with a sharp instrument
   b (1) : a mark used as a starting point or goal
      (2) : a mark used for keeping account
3 a : an account or reckoning originally kept by making marks on a tally
   b : amount due : indebtedness

and Write on Edge’s Red Writing Hood prompt : Sand 

Take 450 words and write about sand. Whether it be beaches, backyards, or hourglasses, think sandy thoughts and come back on Friday to link up!

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27 thoughts on “The Final Score.

  1. Very nostalgic… I still go to beaches with Abba… But now, he sits a bit away from the waves, while I go and fulfill the desires of my feet in the cold refreshing waves, engraving my initials with toes and seeing them wash away with the next wave 🙂 For the lady in this story, it is a new life starting from 0 and definitely not the final score 😉

  2. As always, I love it! Your metaphor of the sand as a magic carpet is wonderful– really captures the idea of it transporting you elsewhere. If I were given the word score, I would have written about football (American); your idea is so much better.

  3. Poignant….beautifully captured. Made me remember my childhood memory of Half-moon bay in Dammam (Saudi Arabia)…where the beaches were as sandy as it could get and we would build sand-castles while the elders roasted “boti-kebabs” on an open fire in the evening. Sigh! Those were the days! Thank you for this post!

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