There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.
You can make him watch cartoon,
be it dragon-ball z or samurai jack.
To do this properly you require a bunch of kids, irksome,
some gooey candies, a sofa with broken springs
and parents who’ve left for a ball.
Or you can take a movie,
starring Jim Carrey, be it any genre
and make him watch it five days in a row.
But for this you need a belt,
a 300 watts bulb, a hard chair,
ice-cold water and some tooth picks
to keep his lids from drooping.
Dispensing with music lovers, you may,
make him hear Justin Bieber, but for this
you need ear plugs for yourself, an amplifier,
not to mention, a room with no mirrors
and a sound system to blow his brains out.
The Biebs will do the rest.
In an age of Harry Potter, you may lock him
in a room with the twilight series. All you then
require is wait, for the sparkly vampire
to suck his blood, or fall in love with him.
Or let the description of Edward’s beauty
drive him into a state of complex,
so much so that he kills himself.
These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.
Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see
that he is studying in a medical college,
the books will weigh him down.
©2012. Habiba Danyal
You can find the original poem here.