The Healer’s hand.

“See these hands, Walton?”

“Yes, Dr. Francis.”

“They are the biggest source of contamination for the patients. Sometimes healers and sometimes….cold-blooded killers.”

This said he switched off the ventilator.

He was God.

©2012. Habiba Danyal

For Trifextra: Week 34


5 Ways To Kill A Man- With apologies to Edwin Brock.

There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.

You can make him watch cartoon,

be it dragon-ball z or samurai jack.

To do this properly you require a bunch of kids, irksome,

some gooey candies, a sofa with broken springs

and parents who’ve left for a ball.


Or you can take a movie,

starring Jim Carrey, be it any genre

and make him watch it five days in a row.

But for this you need a belt,

a 300 watts bulb, a hard chair,

ice-cold water and some tooth picks

to keep his lids from drooping.


Dispensing with music lovers, you may,

make him hear Justin Bieber, but for this

you need ear plugs for yourself, an amplifier,

not to mention, a room with no mirrors

and a sound system to blow his brains out.

The Biebs will do the rest.


In an age of Harry Potter, you may lock him

in a room with the twilight series. All you then

require is wait, for the sparkly vampire

to suck his blood, or fall in love with him.

Or let the description of Edward’s beauty

drive him into a state of complex,

so much so that he kills himself.


These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.

Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see

that he is studying in a medical college,

the books will weigh him down.

©2012. Habiba Danyal

You can find the original poem here.

Do’s And Don’t’s Of Medical Life: Exam Tips!

Sharpen your axes, polish your spears and put on your armours. It’s war-time!

  • In the examination hall, if people who have never talked, suddenly become very sweet and social, DON’T think its your rusted ol’ charm that has started working again. They are just making sure that they have “help” during exam hours! Nasty *******!
  • DO prepare yourself for weird attitudes and gestures of students around you! There are always students who shake their legs in nervousness so much so, that the table vibrates, swing their chairs, have bouts of nausea [well, that would be me O_0], laugh for no reason at all, go all pale, chant invocations and roll  their prayer beads in frustration!
  • And yeah! The invigilators- DO prepare yourselves for them as well! There are invigilators who blabber a lot, who always tell you that there is half an hour left when actually there is a whole good one hour to go, who make loud, indecent slurping noises while drinking tea [the kind I hate the most] and who take loads of time to sign your answer sheet!
  • DON’T get startled when you see a question similar to this:

Q. If the lateral nucleus of hypothalamus elicits rage and the dorso-medial nucleus elicits signs of passivity, then why did Britney Spears shave her hair off? [ gist: an out-dated, unreasonably unreasonable question]

  • DON’T wonder why you ever learned to write, while colouring those smallcircles in the answer sheet! I swear they are getting bigger day by day! It takes an eternity to fill them up.

    Ever feel like doing this?
  • Histological slides and CBLs [case-based learning] are like a gamble. DO remember to play wise! The opponents are sly, cunning creatures who like to play dirty! I think they deliberately blur those slides so that a thyroid follicle looks more like a corpus luteum!
  • And if you get silly options in a question, and have an urge to select “pressure cooker” even when you know that it’s an “autoclave”
    wise advice: DON’T select pressure cooker
    kick-ass advice: DO select pressure cooker 😉
  • On the day of the viva, DO remember your P’s and Q’s and never contradict the examiner! THEY are the boss!
  • The first ever result displayed on the notice-board is a prank by the seniors, DON’T start spilling tears if according to it, you have failed – laugh it off!!!!

Now, don’t tell me that you haven’t benefited from my precious, precious tips!  Keep reading for further broadening of your small heads. 😉 If you have missed out the last two golden pieces of the series you can find them right here: 😀

Do’s and Don’t’s Of A Medical Life: Pre-Exam Tips

Do’s And Don’t’s Of A Medical Life: for starters

And last but certainly not the least, a shout out to my friends, Jea, Omema, Hafsa, Ghazala and Amber for persistently sharing and bearing my posts! Thank you all for your support. 😀

© 2012. Habiba Danyal

Do’s and Don’t’s Of A Medical Life: Pre-Exam Tips

After the extreme popularity of Do’s and Don’t’s of A Medical Life: For Starters, I said to myself, why not come up with part 2 and continue the series…..So here’s another humble attempt of this humble soul.

  • If you haven’t studied all year and plan to do so in the preparatory leave, then DO make sure that you’ve deactivated your FB account. [If you are a blogger, well-that is an exception, but FB certainly wont do 😉 ]
  • DO make sure that you have a whole spare hour at hand before catching a glimpse of the telly. The chances of a good movie being aired are greater, now that you have to study! They showed Bourne Ultimatum, The A-team and Die hard 4, three days in a row O_0 !!!
  • If you have just told your mother that you cannot do the dishes, water the plants or any other household chores, DO make sure that she doesn’t catch you texting or else your cellphone will be blamed for everything bad that has happened since the beginning of time and even in the near future!!!
  • Mealtimes between studies are a bliss! A sweet escape. But DO remember its your own stomach you are feeding – NOT the Giant Squid. Or else you’ll have to spend the next two months burning all the extra calories.
  • DON’T worry about the short attendance list. I think it’s just a ruse. 😉 A make-believe story to warn students:


  • DON’T search yourself for the symptoms of all the diseases. NO, you don’t have pruritus, it’s probably just the mosquitoes and NO, you don’t have leukemia either. And that distended belly is not ascites, it’s the extra weight you are putting on!
  • DON’T curse your alarm clock for not waking you up early every morning! It’s not the poor clock’s fault if you shove it in the drawer of your night-stand or in your filthy stinking sock! And if your clock really doesn’t work, borrow my cuckoo! [ It has woken me up at 3.30, 4.00 and 4.30 by “honking” right next to my window in the past 2 weeks ]
  • DON’T count your study hours! You’ll be more than disappointed to know that you’ve been sleeping for 10 hours and studying only for 8!
  • And if its your preparatory leave, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to wash up and shave and end up looking like Chuck Noland!
    Well, he had an excuse, but you DON’T!!

    DO take baths, unless you want your family to throw you out thinking that you are a bag of rotten tomatoes!

Preparatory leaves are the worst times of the year, no doubt. Its like knowing that you don’t have a vocation and still putting on a habit and living the life of a nun/priest ! 😉 The only difference is that you  DON’T live among nuns, instead among a bunch of “sinful creatures” who party hard while you live a life of “piety” !!! 😀

Well, for now

Stay tuned for Do’s and Don’t’s Of A Medical Life: Exam Tips 🙂

© 2012. Habiba Danyal

Do’s And Don’t’s Of A Medical Life: for starters.

For  enlightening some young minds, here is my humble attempt:

  • When you get admitted to a Medical College DO make sure that every one knows about it! Like – everyone in your log book. Even the aunt you haven’t talked to in ages because she gives you big sloppy kisses or bear-like hugs and Uncles that pat your head so forcefully that you are drilled a couple of meters into the ground.
  • DO get yourself a decent wardrobe! Those old worn-out trousers and faded jeans certainly wont do Mr. And ladies! Refrain from buying flashy stuff, it’s not your brother’s wedding you are about to attend!
  • Buy a pair of sneakers. DON’T go “clitter clatter” in your heels down those corridors and alleyways. Your dream of walking on the ramp can wait for now!
  • Once there, beware of your seniors! Move in packs. DON’T bunk classes just yet – there will be time for it later on. Take advantage of the shelter of your lecture halls.They are your SANCTUARY – the safest place after the Principal’s room! 😉
  • DON’T jump with surprise if any one from the Professors to the bookshop owner, calls you “DOCTOR Sahib”! It IS you they are talking to. DON’Tbe too happy about it when they address you that way, for “Doctor Sahib” is usually followed by either a very difficult question or a very rude remark!
  • DO make sure that all your books are cheerful enough! Black and white books aint good for health – they give you vertigo during exam days! 😛
  • DON’T be too pissed off if that mean aunt of yours purposefully asks: “Darling! How is your B.Sc going?” And DON’T grind your teeth too much when you reply: “My MBBS is going fine!” Because grinding your teeth too much makes MBBS sound like B.Sc somehow, and it gives her more satisfaction.
  • And although I seem to come down to this again and again – DO learn how to surf or skateboard, because the balancing skills will help you avoid fall in that wretched four-wheeler they call a bus!
  • DON’T fret too much while handling the BP apparatus. You are a beginner and thus you are bound to:
  1.  have trouble finding the pulse.
  2. twist those tubes and put the cuff the wrong way.
  3. switch off the fan to hear the sounds which seem mythical just yet. 🙂
  4. pretend that you are hearing Korotkoff’s sounds when it’s actually your own blood drumming in your ears.
  5. tell your parents that they are hypertensive one day and change your opinion the next. 😛
  6. be told by your father that you are only fit to be a vet AND seek revenge for his jibe by pumping it all the way up to 200mm Hg! 😉
  •  DON’T LOL when your teacher pronounces “fat cells” as “FART cells” or when “main duct” sounds like “main duck”.
  • DO get yourself some nice shots every time you attend the Skills Lab to put on your social networking sites! However DON’Tsnap those “i-am-smooching-the-mannequin-thinking-its-Angelina-Jolie” poses! They are GROSS.

    Check out the socks on the dummy!
  • DON’T be too worried about  your GPA’s! They hardly matter. The journey ahead is too tough and bone wrenching, enjoy this time to its fullest. If I have missed anything out, add it to the comment box below. Until next time, Sayonara!

P.S. Sayonara, because I had 4 views from Japan a couple of days back. 😉 It’s amazing how you can reach out to the whole world through words.

©2012 Habiba Danyal.