A Letter To Arthur C.Guyton


Respected Mr.Guyton!!!

I am writing this letter on behalf of all those students who have had the privilege of reading your renown work on Physiology. Sir! We are gratified – for all that [wasted]  time that we spent reading your enlightening book [ which could have been invested in a more fruitful activity O.o] 

Your book has increased our vocabulary [ of swearwords – apart from the ‘F’ word] and now we are sure that we are as educated as our average movie stars and even our politicians !!! Your book on Medical Physiology has given faith to our young minds in these hard times and it resides in itself the enigma and competence that keeps us from reading or even thinking about any other book !!! [time hoga toh parhaingay na!!!]

It gives our stomachs a bloated and contended feeling with not only its matter but also its weight !!! [Ahhh….!!! the number of times I’ve slept soundly with that book inverted over my tummy ] In hours of boredom it makes us realise that even boredom is less boring than the book itself !!!

One thing that I particularly lorrvee about your writing style is your ability to write way long summaries and inconspicuously hide them in between texts so that students have no choice but to read them again [only to realise later that the frigging thing was a God damned repetition !!! ] This is the best way to trick students into reading summaries !!! I am sooo impressed.

I even like the way you have colour coded your book – the colours make it look more cheerful and give it a rainbow like appearance when we flip the pages !!! [something we all frequently do when we just aint able to digest all the effing riff raff !!! ] Students are so eager to read your marvellous book that I’ve seen them count the number of pages of each chapter ‘countless’ times:

a) when they plan to read a topic

b) before they actually start reading a topic

c) after they have read a page and are about to start the next

d) when they calculate how many pages will be left if they skip a couple of pages

e) when they doze off in between and wakeup with a start – [ they count them again as a reflex action ]

However there is one thing that disappoints us !! The book should have had at least as much tonnage as your esteemed name, Sir !!! Like Guy-ton, it should have weighed nowhere less than a ‘ton’ or two !!!!!

I hope I haven’t kept you from your heavenly pleasures for too long and that the weather up there is as balmy as our tempers when we read your book !!!

Without wax,

Students of MBBS, BDS, D.Pharm

and rest.

P.s. How’s Mr. Hall??

Not very irksome I suppose.

P.P.S. Students can pay their respects to Mr. Guyton in the comment box below.

©2012 Habiba Danyal.