Dear you,


Dear you,

As I walk past your room everyday, I see your back. Your hands folded behind your head and your eyes staring at the ceiling. Sometimes you light a cigarette and smoke. You carefully keep  your hand by your side, in a vain attempt to hide the lit stub. Sometimes you switch on the television and all day long the sound fills your room. You turn it up more until it becomes unbearable. But you do not wince, not even once.

Sometimes when you aren’t alone, I stop and look at you. Lately, watching you is all I do. Even when surrounded by people, your eyes are somewhere else. Ergo, so are you. You are with them but you aren’t. In a crowd you are that one person who looks and feels lost. The crowd thinks you are one of them but I know, that you aren’t.

When I take a walk with you I keep my eyes on you. Because I know you’ll watch for hurdles for both of us. I look at you and see you walk with a stride. To someone else you may seem like a man with purpose. But to me, and I know; you are a man who wants to put as much distance between the world and yourself as you possibly can. But now I think, in doing that, you out-distanced yourself from life.

I caught you laughing that day which you rarely do. So I stopped time and rewound it. I picked up the cause of your glee. It was a kid. I know you love them. I searched your eyes again trying to see if your heart was in it. It was, and I was taken aback. I saw life in them like flecks of cloud after a satiating rain. I was taken aback for I thought you were already dead. As dead as me.

Dear you, who was me some twenty odd years back,

I regret every moment of our life. I regret being you and I wish upon the whole universe to undo it all; who I was, to be who I really wanted to be. We spent our lives trying to be the best sons, the best brothers and the best of every relation. We led our lives exactly as it was expected of us rather than how we wanted it to be. And in the process we lost ourselves.

And what is worse than losing one’s own self? Trust me when I tell you this, that you own the world as long as you own your spirit, your hopes, your dreams and your ability to love.

With nothing to give, as I stand empty handed and invisible,

Me,

who you’ll be some twenty odd years later.

©2015. Habiba Danyal

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Alhamdulillah for this year!


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,300 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Cassiopeia


“She wouldn’t mind my not seeing her?”

“Hell, no.”

“But I’ll miss her. My eyes suck at seeing the brightest, most obvious things.”

“Her eyes? She has a squint,mate.”

“No, she would be thankful for one less witness of her shame.”

©2014. Habiba Danyal

 

 

Exactly 42 words for Gargle blaster # 157. This week’s question is:

Do you see her much?

Rand and Degas.


Maira had a knack for seeing things people missed. For instance she saw the stealthy way Mr. Banyan, her English teacher looked at the senior girls. She could see how the man who owned the café, tricked students into thinking that he was putting money into their pockets while the coins actually slipped down his sleeve. She could even see that beneath the crisp ironed saris that Mrs. Sidhwa wore and the welcoming smile that warmed her face was a battered woman. She could see the bruises inconspicuously hidden beneath mounds of foundation on her waist. Her husband never did her face. If only Mrs. Sidhwa retaliated instead of covering up his ghastliness! Love, she thought, made women blind. And then there was her Maman

In her dining room was a painting of a ballerina. Every time she looked at it, it became alive to her. She breathed, cried and told her how her feet ached. How behind the stage her body was out of her control. How people never realized that at the root of every perfect, flawless performance were night-long rehearsals, a sinking feeling when things seemed to go all wrong, tears that came anyway and most of all the fear. What if she slipped and the world she had carefully woven around her audience came crashing down? What if the cards she had placed one above the other to build a castle of dreams collapsed just by a waft of air flowing from the wrong direction?3816722825_c5f89959d0_o-249x300

They saw the pretty ballerina, she told her. But they never saw her barren heart, her fearful dreams and her forlorn life. They never saw that throughout her performance she has held her breath without going blue. The sacrifices that she had made to get here, half of which she never intended to make. Their praise was never enough for what she did.

Maira was brought back to the real world as her parents entered the room. She didn’t know her father as much as she should, being his child and all. He looked happy for some reason. He smiled at her mother, a smile that never reached his eyes, apart from those occasions when he spoke about his achievements and his political career. He took out a velvet pouch from his pocket and conjured a diamond necklace studded with sapphire. He carefully clipped it at the back of her mother’s neck and kissed behind her ear. “Thanks for tonight, darling! You play an excellent host to my guests. You’ll make a great first lady, one day. G’night!”

Maira went up to her mother and slowly kissed the place where the necklace had left a cold patch on her skin. She knew these little tokens of gratitude stung her like venom. They weren’t half a price for her sacrifices. She took a step back and looked sadly at her mother, the real life ballerina.

©2013. Habiba Danyal ———————————————————————————————————————————— For Write at the Merge, Week 8. This week’s prompt combines an Ayn Rand quote with an image of one of Edgar Degas’ famous ballerinas. Remember, you can use either — or both — portions of the prompt in your response and your word limit is 500.

It stands to reason that where there’s sacrifice, there’s someone collecting sacrificial offerings. Where there’s service, there’s someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master.

—Ayn Rand

5 people I envy…


There is no harm in admitting that all of us have harboured animosity, envy and nurtured other such negative feelings for people at some point in life. We are humans – and hence it is natural! Vice, malice and envy are however like termites that feed on your inner soul leaving you hollow from within. The quicker we abate them the better for us!

But still, there are people of whom I cannot help being envious of – at the top of the list:

1. Bus-sleepers:

The specie I envy the MOST! No matter how bumpy the ride is or how crowded the bus – They just don’t care! They snore with their mouths agape, tongue lolling out sometimes and even their head sways as the bus moves! Occasionally, they would jerk awake, shoo a fly and then go back to sleep, their jaw hanging open, giving free access to the fly again!

Sometimes when I am very tired, I stand there looking at them and wish “only if the fly would really enter their mouth and tickle their pharynx” or “only if they fall off their seats!” – the chances being fat though, because there is hardly enough space to stand! The bus is always so damn crowded.

2. Lucky-dice-rollers:

I suck at all board games that involve a dice – the reason being that I am never able to roll the correct numbers! While playing Monopoly, I am always the one who lands in jail, has to pay income tax, the drunken charge, owns the Old Kent Road and the first one to go bankrupt! All thanks to the lousy numbers I roll!

Now, what is a person supposed to do in such circumstances? The answer is simple – CHEAT! Sneak a couple of bills from the bank, run away from sold property without paying the rent before the owner realizes that you were on it and say that your community chest card read “Bank error in your favour collect £200” when it actually says “Pay hospital £100”!

3. Queue-escapees:

We all hate standing-in-the queue-jobs! People who stand and wait for their turns and people who sneakily work their way to the front, all alike. However I envy the people who are able to avoid queues either by reaching early or at an optimal time when there isn’t a huge crowd! Admire their timing, I do.

4. Children – all sorts and sizes:

Oh the little prats do have an advantage over us and they do know how to take it as well! They can lick their ice creams all the way – till the very end! They can sleep in any position they like, don’t have to worry a pint about their appearance or conduct, can sink their teeth into a water-melon and usually get away with loads of things as blogger Tayyaba Adnan rightly says! ( Stuff Kids Get Away With)

Huh! The number of things we like to do in life but refrain from doing only because we fret over what people might say or they may not be right or appropriate. All the simple childish things, moments that present to us but we are too afraid or slow to reach out and grab them! What the hey! Life is better the simpler way!

5. People who have less – but are happier!

Desiring more and better than we have is certainly not a crime! On the contrary it is healthy to be competitive and ambitious but we must know where to draw the lines! There are moments when our desires unconsciously change into complains, when we whine for more rather than ask for it, when we in the process of aiming for the skies, forget to look down and fathom how far we have come….appreciate our progress and be thankful for it, when we let greed take over us and it only impedes our speed!

I am envious of the people who are above such feelings, who have far less than me and are far far happier than I am!

I envy their peace, their contentment, their smile, their happiness…

And above all I envy their optimism.

©2012. Habiba Danyal

What ought not be upon thy tongue….


What ought not be upon thy tongue,

But deep within thy heart;

Is respect for all human kind,

Regardless of their creed or cast.

No matter what shade they are,

What colour, tinge or hue.

No matter whether white or black,

Or pink or brown or blue.

What ought not be upon thy tongue,

But deep within thy heart;

Is true love for friends and family,

Not a love note on a postal card.

Not empty words all neatly wrapped,

In the paper of pretence;

Tied up with meaningless gestures,

False promises worth two pence.

Why does our tongue claim the love,

That the heart has never felt?

Why is our heart a barren land,

A stone so hard to melt?

Why is respect restricted,

To rank, money and might?

What changed our old perspectives,

To pursuit what’s good and right?

©2012 Habiba Danyal

Yabadabadooo!!!


It is indeed an honour for us to have our work recognized. Appreciating people for whatever they do needs a big heart. Two and a half months into the blogosphere and I got these two awards, thanks to tadams4u , the queen of wit! Visit her page for a good laugh. 🙂 These awards, are a reminder that somewhere, someone is appreciating our work. And of course a way of acknowledgement.

So here are the rules for the Versatile Blogger award:

  1. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers.
  2. Inform the bloggers of their nomination.
  3. Share 7 random things about yourself.
  4. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  5. Add the “Versatile Blogger Award” pic to your blog post.

And the rules for the Liebster Blog award:

  1. The award is given to a blog with less than 200 followers that deserves a little more recognition
  2. Give a shout out to the blogger who nominated you by linking back to their blog
  3. Nominate 5 other blogs with less than 200 followers
  4. Spread the good blog karma
  5. Lastly, don’t forget to add the Liebster blog award image to your post.

7 Random Things About Myself: [ you don’t have to read this – trust me]

  1.  I am just another lost soul who roams about this earth, nothing special about me.
  2. I do, how ever like to see people above their imperfections, not at all stereo-typed – I aint. I don’t judge a book by its cover.
  3. I am impressed by small things people do, deeds of kindness and nobility that others may overlook. And then they enter my good books forever.
  4. I love books, movies, writing, the sea, George Clooney and…ummmm my parents.
  5. This is getting way too long….what else? Uh…. I hate feathery things, chicken pox, hypocrites, and yeah dentists!
  6. I am madly in love with poetry! English, Urdu And Persian.
  7. This is my favourite no. 😉

Whoah! That was tough….now – the nominations for the Leibster and Versatile Award:

Okay, so these are the people I can think of at the moment.

Also, since you are still reading this – What to do when you come across my blog:

Read, Rate, Share, Spread!

And it wouldn’t hurt if you comment either or sign up for future blogs even! Until next time, CIAO!